Day: March 2, 2016
Certain Emotion on Time of Day: enraged noon to late afternoon,
frustratio late night
Weather: 53˚-70˚ slightly cloudy, says it’s gonna rain the
next few days…GODS I hope so
What I ate
-Morning: froot loops 10:05AM
-Noon: toasts, 2 slices with just butter, 2 slices with butter
and salami 3:25PM
-Night: Sweet Tomatoes 8:30PM
-Snack: N/A
Menstrual: Unfortunately, yes
Who I was with: 12:45PM-2:20PM class, 2:20PM-6:30PM
babysitting, 6:30PM-10:50PM Ryan and family (mainly Cat), 10:50PM-1:10AM
When I was alone:
Stressors [depressed]: period cramps, found out about my cousin’s
terrible situation, Cat confessed something to me, going to bed super late on a
night were I need to get up super fucking early
Contributors [happy]: Cat came home, went to dinner with Ryan
and family
Dreams: I had an interesting dream last night, it involved the
PG girls but they weren't from the PG crossover or PGLR universe. It was a
different universe of the PG girls, and I don't recall any other characters
from their original story like the SSP's. They were priestesses or something, all
lived together I think in a cabin in the woods, and wore all white. There were
three soldiers or warriors, something like that. The outfits were mainly
ancient Greek or Roman looking. There was some sort of thing with songs, so I
think it was a musical. The antagonist was going to betray them or something.
Can’t quite recall everything.
Sleep: 8:45PM-8:15AM
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Illness: N/A
What I feel: The world is so fucking unfair. My Ma told me
about all this terrible shit happening to my cousin and it's just so
infuriating. I really truly wish there was something I could do, someway I
could help. My Ma keeps offering for us to take him until the school year is
over (and I'm hoping we'll keep him longer)
He needs to leave the environment he's in. His school is terrible and my
grandmother has fucked up things for him even further. He was born with a
deformity so that he only has one hand, and he's being severely bullied
especially now, and it's both physical and mental. Whenever he fights back, he
gets suspended. Recently, our grandmother saw his main bully and threatened
him. He told his parents and they told the police. Now my cousin is seen as the
bully and whatnot. My grandmother is a stupid asshole. The situation just seems
to get more and more out of control. The kid has been punching him in the nuts.
And now that he knows he's part Chinese, he's been harassing him for that. Like
"I heard Chinese boys have small dicks" etc. What the fuck is wrong
with some people? He's in Junior High. The bully is also some rich brat. And my
cousin has no friends. His best friend is like the bully's best friend now.
Doesn't seem like anybody there's gonna do anything to make things better
anytime soon. His school counselor is worried he could be suicidal, this boy
needs to be taken out of there. My ma has been offering to take them since the
day they were born. But to my grandma (who has custody over them), they're just
another paycheck. But after all of this, she might reconsider or at least do
home schooling. The whole situation's just awful...it's like nobody there
actually gives a shit about this kid. From the day these kids were born, they
were fucked. Even his sister is having trouble. I’m not allowed to speak about
what Cat confessed, all I can say is that it definitely can be counted as
stressor. But I suppose part of my inner turmoil is if I’m even sure if I can
believe it or not. I know that nobody can really trust their memories,
especially someone with specific disorders or those known to be compulsive
liars. But that’s not affecting me too much as what was told. That’s not the
main problem in any way. Just the possibility that what was told could be true,
and that I even have very valid reasons for believing it could be. Two shit
things in one day…is this how it’s gonna be? I also remembered about how I do
have anxiety and paranoia problems I neglect to talk about. So bad that I won’t
sleep and get frightened. It has to do with superstition, but if I am in
somewhere I know is haunted or feel like there’s a threatening presence, if it’s
3AM, I am unable to be peaceful that hour. Don’t feel like getting too much
into it. Besides Cat’s confession, we shared horror stories of both sleep
paralysis and haunting encounters within our own home.
Shopping Spree: N/A
Started Projects: N/A
Continued Projects: N/A
Canceled Projects: N/A
Finished Projects: N/A
Homework: math due Thursday 3/3 (done)
Tests: N/A
Did You Take Your Medicine?: Yes and some pain killers (midol,
it’s for period pains)
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