Day: April 28 Thursday 2016
Certain Emotion on Time of Day:
Weather:
What I ate
-Morning: waffles
-Noon: fries and ice cream
-Night:
-Snack:
Menstrual: mm-hmm, but it might be my last day cuz my flow was
pretty light last night and I’m starting a new pack of birth control tomorrow
Who I was with: 7:30AM-8:45AM class, 9:00AM-11:30PM Ryan,
9:45AM-2:10PM friend, 1:00PM-5:30PM Ryan, 6:10PM-8:00PM ma
When I was alone:
Stressors [depressed]: well seeing as how I had a shitty day,
where do I start?: I had a late start (at least I didn’t go to school late),
didn’t get to brush my hair so I just wore my cat hat all day, Luna got into my
room and knocked shit over as well as took things out of my drawers (she better
not have peed or pooped anywhere), I forgot my water bottle (but Erick was nice
enough to lend me one of his, the sweetie), was falling asleep in class, some
of my stuff is broken, I’m missing two of my favorite key chains, just little
unlucky things have been happening of the like, I’m tired and sore, liquids
kept getting spilled near my computer, my computer was freaking the fuck out at
one point, apparently Travika is starting shit and it’s affecting Ryan, I had
to wait an hour at McDonald’s and ended up crying, I might be getting sick
again, I thought I was going to be picked up early so I kept putting off lunch
until it was too late, I just wanted to go home and be alone to sleep but my ma
wasn’t able to pick me up until 6:10PM and we even went to a store afterward
before we actually got home, my bird bit me a few times, Luna snuck into my
room again and knocked stuff off my desk, I’m sure there’s more that I can’t
think of
Contributors [happy]: nice cuddle and nap with Ryan, ma paid
for my McDonald’s, got new lipstick and deodorant, birth control has been
replaced
Dreams:
Sleep: 1:40AM-3:30AM 3:40AM-6:45AM napped in the afternoon
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Illness: I think I’m getting a cold again :/ UTI also might be
coming back
What I feel: I have just had a frustrating and irritating day.
I have been so done with Travika and now I’m beyond that, I’m straight up
pissed. It’s a huge possibility that they’ve been saying that I’ve been trying
to start shit and so now Ryan’s being treated like shit by people in that
circle. Travis is apparently denying that he made an OKCupid account to look
for a third and boost his ego and mainly did it for friends. Look here buddy,
you don’t fucking lie when it comes to someone who documents and screenshots
their life. I have evidence. Ryan and I, mainly Ryan, are going to confront
them tomorrow. I sent every conversation I’ve screenschotted between Travis and
me to him so he has evidence and proof if Travis, or even Erika, tries to deny
anything. And if they act like really bad baby back bitches, I could fuck
things up for Travis with my conversations about how he wanted to be friends
with benefits and when he messaged me about wanting to be more that friends. I
could ruin him. I’m going to let Ryan handle it since he’s the one who wants to
so bad (not that I don’t), but mainly because he’s like a really good lawyer
when it comes to bullshit, and because they’d probably change their story if it
involved me. So while Ryan and I cuddled on the couch, it became apparent to me
that he might not really be into Emerald and it could be because he doesn’t
know her very much yet. But he made it sound like he’s going to prioritize me
over her even if we start dating which really concerns me. I told him that when
he’s sure about if he’ll like her too or not, to tell me sooner rather than
later. So I messaged her. “Hey, I'm going to be honest with you, I think before
we go any further, I'd like for you and Ryan to get closer or talk more. I'm
worried he might not be as into you and maybe it's just because you two haven't
gotten much of a chance to talk, hang out, or get to know each other. So, I
don't want this to turn into a thing where he's not putting in as much effort
into a relationship with you as he is with me. Us going any farther all comes
down to if you guys can mutually like each other.” To which she responded with,
“I was feeling a bit the same, I'll hit him up. Maybe if we hung out alone too
and got to know each other better.” I also said, “I just don't want you
or anyone to feel like the third wheel.” And she simply replied with, “I agree.” So I then messaged Ryan with showing
screenshots of the conversation, “Just a heads up that I'm being honest with
Emerald. If you're not going to be
willing to put in an effort with her as much as you do me, it's not going to
work.” I went to the store with my ma and she bought me a new Old Spice
deoderant (she finally did it, after years of refusing to because it’s “for
men”) and a really pretty shade or red lipstick (which was $5). When I go
tomorrow, I’m gonna be all gussied up and pretty when they see me tomorrow. I
think I’m gonna wear my new lipstick, do a slick back or pinup bang bump look,
and wear a suit. Sounds sexy to me. Girls in suits are hot. And my cheekbones
are on point today, especially with the lipstick. I was making jokes earlier
today that my hair matches my mood cuz it was such a mess.
Shopping Spree:
Started Projects:
Continued Projects:
Canceled Projects:
Finished Projects:
Homework: math Tuesday 05/03
Tests: N/A
Did You Take Your Medicine?: Yes (took 2 of the
lower dosage Zolof and took the UTI medication)
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