Mood Journal {I Didn’t Choose the Hyper Life, The Hyper Life Chose Me}

Day: February 2 Tuesday 2016

Certain Emotion on Time of Day: did not want to go to my first class and almost chose to stay in bed, probably would have if not for my dad (very disappointed in myself for trying to do that) 7:30AM super hyper when hanging out with friends and then heading to work 11:30PM-2:00PM, got home from work and just trying to relax now, still felt energetic, but not as hyper, although my mind still likes the idea of fighting for some reason 6:50PM-7:30PM, been feeling tired but full of energy at the same time…vut duh fuk??? 9:45PM

Weather: 40˚-56˚ slight rain in the morning, mostly cloudy

What I ate

-Morning: curly fries and chocolate mousse cake (I also ordered a hot dog but didn’t eat it at the time, I also shared my food) 11:15AM

-Noon: N/A

-Night: half my hot dog 6:15PM other half 9:40PM

-Snack: N/A

Menstrual: N/A

Who I was with: 7:30AM-9:05AM class, 9:45AM-11:00AM class, 11:00AM-2:00PM friends and Ryan (off and on), 2:00PM-6:30PM work

When I was alone: after 6:50PM when I got home

Stressors [depressed]: feeling bad about Travika

Contributors [happy]: hung out with Ryan’s and friends, found out that I will be getting a ride from the dad I work for so I can save money

Dreams: cannot remember

Sleep: after 11:35PM-7:00AM but I constantly woke up in the night, 3:13 was especially prominent and I couldn’t fall back asleep for awhile at first

Moon Phase: Waning Crescent

Illness: N/A

What I feel: I know I had just asked for space...but I think I'm ready to see them again. I think I just needed to get it off my chest and calm down (well, I've still been hyper today). But I think I can face them. Although, it's whether or not I feel anxious tomorrow that determines that. I probably should take at least a day or two to be sure though. I'm just worried that I might give it too much time away and that cold make this worse. Although, since I just asked, it's probably be weird or rude if I went back on that. I wouldn't spend time with them if I felt anxious, and with being away, it's not as much as me being anxious about being away from them, it's more of me being anxious because of how I left things. Oh so once when Ryan and I were just friends and he quickly let go of my hand and I thought it'd start gossip. I WAS FUCKING RIGHT. Because the guy who saw us was one of Travis's closer friends and Ryan made it suspicious. AND WE WERE JUST FRIENDS AT THE TIME *face palm* No one suspected anything from that time he used my boobs as pillows cuz we were so casual about it and whatnot. And on top of the fact that I was in a relationship with someone else. So I can blame Ryan for that one. I'm little ball of anger, I just want to fight. XD I may or may not have issues. I'd love to get in a fist fight just once, but I don't condone violence. I'd love to get in a fight and win. I'm stronger than I look (and was relatively fast today). Been so hyper. So I’m thinking of going to school everyday with a ride from my dad so I can 1. Avoid taking and paying for the bus 2. Essentially have a constant schedule and routine. I’d just have to be willing to leave at 7AM every morning. Ryan’s twin sister, Jenna, said she’s never seen him been affectionate, loving, or caring with anything or anyone as he has been with me. Guess it makes me feel pretty special and good about myself.

Shopping Spree: N/A

Started Projects: N/A

Continued Projects: Her Choker (book)

Canceled Projects: N/A

Finished Projects: N/A

Homework: math due Thursday 2/4 (done), gender comm due Tuesday 2/16

Tests: N/A

Did You Take Your Medicine?: Yes