Day: June 28 Tuesday 2016
Certain Emotion on Time of Day:
Weather:
What I Ate
-Morning: Apple Jacks 9:20AM
-Noon:
-Night: chicken and mashed potatoes 7:15PM
-Snack: ice cream, Nutella
Menstrual:
Who was I with: 8:55AM-12:45PM
When was I alone:
Stressors [depressed]: scraped my knee on bed ladder
Contributors [happy]:
Dreams:
Sleep: 12:15AM-4:40AM 4:50AM-6:25AM 6:30AM-7:15AM 7:25AM-8AM (nap 2:50PM-5:20PM)
Moon Phase:
Illness:
What I feel: I really don't think my Ma really gets how polyamory works or that it can work =_= She doesn't seem to realize that even though I'm only dating and have a serious relationship with one person, doesn't make me stop being polyamorous. She actually was trying to caution me off from getting too close to friends, especially ones I meet on sites like HER, because I might break her heart because I'm in a relationship, or feel strongly for her and break Ryan's heart. Then she was giving an example of if Ryan started getting really close to a friend of the opposite sex (she said either gender, but I know that wouldn't happen), and how I would react to that, and she was expecting me to say I would get jealous or something like that I instead say "Is she bi?" In a serious conversation with my slightly poly-phobic mother, I still have a sense of humor XD Even though the prejudice to bi people is really bad, it can get worse with poly, in my opinion. "They all have threesomes or orgies." "There's no jealousy." "All poly people are kinky." "All poly people are bi." And so on and so forth. The key to any healthy relationship, but especially poly, is communication. That is the MOST important think, besides love. One way I look at it, as long as they love me as well as well and are happy, what's the problem? Yeah, maybe I'll get jealous a little here and there, but then I remember that they must feel that way too and I get alone time with both as well. No biggie. As long as no one get neglected. But then again, I only really got "jealous" because I WAS getting neglected, and it wasn't as much as jealousy as it was a bit of betrayal and feeling left behind (which might be considered jealousy idk). And not everyone can have that outlook and do polyamory, and that's ok. Not everyone can do monogamy, and that's ok. So, as sort of implied, my Ma isn't the most advent supporter of polyamory. Once, I was talking about a story where I couldn't decide who the protag should end up with, so I joked that she should end up with all of them. Then she went on this rant about how she didn't believe relationships like that couldn't work (so essentially polyamory, but we didn't really know the term at the time) because you can only love one person at a time and how her aunt and uncle were swingers and it didn't end well and so on and so forth. And then when I came out to her as being in a poly relationship, she suddenly was all like "oh yeah, my aunt and uncle were in a relationship like that, and one/some of my cousins were too" like it suddenly wasn't really a bad a thing. One thing I have to say to is that there's this one show/book that she LOVES where the main characters has 2 husbands and yet she ships them with both AND believes she truly loves them. It's like, that's a perfect example of a poly relationship that she likes. Granted, both guys are in different time periods and she time travels between them, it's still technically poly. One example I used to go to about not being able to romantically love more than one person is: say you are married (or in a relationship) and this person was your everything, but they died. You can still fall in love again. That one isn't about loving two people at once, but I still think it counts for something. I think what bothers me most, is people think that poly never works out: not true. I've seen plenty of poly weddings and read an article about children of a poly relationship. I've seen so many things about how it works for some people. Maybe not everyone, but some people. Oh, and related to the "not for everyone" thing, my Ma tried bringing up Travika. Yeah, no. They don't even have a healthy monogamous relationship. They need to work on themselves before they can work on a relationship. Bunny started going on a tirade again. For some reason she's really grumpy and irritable today. She's upset because apparently no one will help her with her wardrobe (she's never asked me) and apparently her life is falling apart and she gets the short end of the stick and we are all just complaining about petty problems (I don't think I've complained in front of her, but I know my Ma has every right to complain, she's got blood in her urine, she's losing hair, and lost 5lbs this weekend). Apparently we've all been making fun of her and calling her slob and stuff like that, which I don't think anyone really has except probably my dad and maybe my Ma. She didn't say it to me, or overheard her yell it at my Ma. Bunny tried talking to me about the fact that I'm not interested in going to Napa this weekend with my parents and Bear. My reasoning is that Napa isn't my thing since its wine county plus that I'd rather stay home to take care of the pets so my dad can help Bear out, since my Ma is only going to help, it's not a vacation. Also, I planned to hang out with friends. She was saying how I'm gonna kick myself for missing out on it. I really doubt it. She thinks I should go and enjoy nature, take pictures. First off, it's not a vacation, Bear is working. Secondly, I hardly take photos of anything when on vacation. Third, Napa isn't where I go to enjoy nature, it's wine country. Oh and I have work on Tuesday. They leave Saturday and come back Tuesday. My dad was saying we could leave early in the morning or he and I could leave late Monday, but I don't wanna do that on or before a work day. She says I'm gonna start kicking myself (she kept using that phrase) for missing out on things when I get into a job like hers and have to work a lot. I'm not a pessimist like her. I'm an optimist. I realize there will always be more chances and don't regret missing out on things too easily. I don't know why it mattered so much to her. My bed didn't smell bad, but I thought I'd douse it in a sweet Victoria Secret scent I have. It's strawberry and almond milk. My dad looked at my TV stuff and it turns out the HDMI converter is the problem cuz he bought the wrong one. He might actually give me the better TV in the bird room. He might have been joking about that. Played Sims 4 for a while cuz I couldn't sleep just yet, probably because of my accidental nap.
Shopping Spree: shark week ice cream cupcakes
Started Projects:
Continued Projects:
Canceled Projects:
Finished Projects:
Did you take your medicine?: Yes
