Journal entries from those teeny years to my now young adult self. Nonbinary and in a functionally dysfunctional family. I'll talk about mental health and LGBT+ problems a lot. I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW: WE'RE NOT ALONE. I tried to write word-for-word what I had written, but being dyslexic, I have terrible handwriting. There will be many typos, but that is because I write/type my journal entries rather quickly.
Saturday, August 2, 2014
2 August 2014 Saturday 5:41 pm
I don't want to get up. I don't want to move. I just want to lay in bed and do nothing.
2 August 2014 Saturday 3:55 pm
I can't do it. And I hate myself for it, but I JUST CAN'T DO IT. I can't handle her or helping her it comforting her. I'm silently and awkwardly sitting in the car while she cries. I just can't. I'm shutting down. This is triggering me into a depression. I just want to lock myself up and hide. I'm not feeling well.
Friday, August 1, 2014
1 August 2014 Friday
Suicide Watch.
I am a member of suicide watch within my own home. I am a chaser, my ma is a doctor, and Bunny is an inmate. She's driving me crazy. It ridiculous. We're so worried that she'll hurt herself that we locked up all the razors and medicine (liquids and pills). She's showering right now while she wail and yells. She cries how she wants to die and screams about how she wants to kill her ex-boyfriend. They broke up yesterday, on my birthday. Her cries are worse than an infant or baby. We had a scare yesterday. We thought she tried something. She said she wanted to crash her car (she wasn't home, but we were) and her next call was her on her way home and then by the time she should definitely be home, she wasn't answering calls. Then her boyfriend and her broke up. She wants to make him suffer. She's being crazy. Right now she almost sounds like a ghost from my room.
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